I think its dangerous sometimes to watch those things because ultimately if it’s not found in The Word it’s pretty ‘left-field’. These men definitely had some strong theories and opinions about what will happen to, the world as we know it, within the next 10 years. However, I decided to take it with a grain of salt and listen to what God was trying to tell me.

It all brought me right back to “value”. Definition of Value: the quality (positive or negative) that renders something desirable or valuable; to regard highly; think much of; Measure: evaluate or estimate the nature, quality, ability, extent, or significance of.

So… do I “regard highly, think much of and place significance on” the things of God or the things of this world? In staff meeting last week Drew and Steve were talking about how you can look at someone’s checkbook register and judge what they value by what they “regard highly” enough to spend $$ on. If someone values tasty food, you will usually see a long list of restaraunts in their register. If they value looking trendy and keeping up on the latest fashions, you may see a long list of trendy shops. And so on…

If I were to evaluate myself today on the “values” scale I would say that I value my favorite reality tv shows, my “fun” time spent with friends, tasty dinners , and God may be in there somewhere on the weekends. That breaks my heart and I’m sure it breaks God’s. It’s so easy to get caught up in the busy busy work that makes up our week, and to completely forget to give God any air time. Satan is king of distractions and confusion that keep us from spending time with God and finding out what it is that he wants us to value and place importance and significance on.

So, I guess its time to make a change, aye?   Well, my evaluation was something I just could not live with. It must change. The History Channel special got me thinkin’ and I’m glad it gave God an opportunity to speak to my heart and show me that there are things in my life that don’t mean anything in the whole scope of life and eternity. We are to store up treasures in heaven…those things that are valuable in the sight of God – love and kindness to each other, being good stewards of our finances, taking care of our bodies as a “temple”, serving and living for Him by denying ourselves daily and surrendering our time to Him. The list goes on….

What do you value most?

Yet, I am happy about going to visit them in Georgia. I’ve never really been to Georgia, I’ve only gone thru it on my way to North Dakota.. fun So, I’m excited to see what kind of fun stuff I can find there, PLUS I’ll get to see all those sweet Georgia peaches. lol…. they are sooooo Southern, I luv it!

Kind of a random post, I know….

I feel like my head has been spinning for the last 3 weeks non-stop. I’m getting dizzy jk  God continues in His faithfulness inspite of my impatience, stupidity and lack of trust. I am grateful for lessons learned and His grace that flows freely…

I can not get enough of the new song from Hillsong…”The Desert Song”  with Brooke Fraser and Jill McClaughry. It has been a staple over the last couple weeks. I sing it absolutely all day long.  Here is my favorite verse from the song… enjoy!

This is my prayer in the desert

when all that’s within me feels dry

this is my prayer in my hunger and need

my God is the God who provides.

much love….xoxoxox –MIssy

Sadly that phrase has been rolling through my mind for the last few days… I was briefly talking with Robbie and told him that I have never been so challenged to change my thinking/actions as I have since coming to Beachside.  I don’t know if its Beachside, or God’s timing – either way I have been put in situations that have forced me to deal with the way I handle that situation.  I feel like God just runs me thru the same challenge back to back until I pass the test. No fun, not fair… lol…

The ”it’s not fair” side sneaks in when you feel like you are in a whirlwind of change… You look at friends around you who appear to be just fine, without a care in the world. You think to yourself, why me? why am i always faced with something else that needs to change ASAP???  Afterall, look at John and Jane Doe over there livin’ it up in their perfect world, always so happy…… right?    Well, i guess i have to remind myself that you never know what is going on behind the closed doors of others’ lives. The grass is always greener over there, BUT that may be because they’ve got a septic stream running thru their property.   

I think about how a pearl is formed. It doesn’t become a beautiful, sought after prize by just chillin’ in a shell for a while. It endures quite a beating, the harder the beating the more beautiful the pearl. (Oh joy) hahaha… Mom is right, “life’s not fair” and from time to time life is challenging and disappointing, but the reward of refined character is worth it. 

Today we had our staff meeting/devotional over at Starbucks and it was really great.  I like what Drew walked away with. But what I love about “great conversation” is that we can all away with something different. All good and thought provoking, just different.

I really do appreciate Robbie’s convo style… he started out one way and flipped it, knowing that there are all different kinds of people that come from different backgrounds/walks of life. Our conversation really stirred up a desire in me to know God in a deeper way and be able to give Him my life in complete trust. To view Him more as a loving, caring, yet mighty ‘Father.’ Viewing God as a Father is not easy for those without an earthly father. But if you know what a father should be – thinking of God in that way automatically makes Him seem safer, warmer and more loving – verses – a harsh judge/ruler waiting to strike me with lighting when I fail.

Everyone has their own issues that hold them back from pursuing what God has for them. So rather than running in fear from those issues, we need to deal with them. Grab the bull by the horns and kick the fear. Fears of failure, fears of insecurity and abandonment… whatever they are. Perfect love casts out all fear… there is no fear in God’s love, there is no fear in trust – only peace. Holding on to fear is not worth it. The plans God has for us are soooo GOOD. If we knew God more intimately, we might know that His intensions are that of a protective, strong – yet loving and perfect Father…..

Oh to know Him…… Seek and you will find, Knock and the door will be opened unto you.

“All of us have moments in our childhood where we come alive for the first time. And we go back to those moments and think, This is when I became myself.”  — Rita Dove

I actually don’t like people who blame their bad habits and rudeness on their childhood… BUT I came across this quote and starting thinking about it. You can look at it in a very positive way, but I flipped it and looked at it in the negative as well. I starting thinking about why in the world I do the things I do and when were those habits formed…  Well, thru this I’m convinced that we are all the product of our childhood.

So as I’m sitting this week in self-reflection mode,  one bad character trait of mine became very clear – I’M A CONTROL FREAK!!!

I’m sure a lot of people can relate; For me there were many different things that happened while I was growing up that were completely out of my control. Some that I may never share with anyone and some that are very common with the average family, such as divorce. When you are growing up and things happen beyond your control, you tend to become an adult who has to control everything.  For me a lot of my control issues have to do with friendships and my overwhelming need to “FIX IT”… I want everyone to be happy and get along, so my solution to that is to find out the problem, fix it and move on. HOWEVER, it only drags me into other people’s problems and issues and ultimately there is no quick fix for the problem. The End Result: Me in the middle of someone else’s pile of poo… with no peace, no harmony – only regret.

So…. like always, there HAS to be a solution. The only logical place for me to seek a solution is the Word of God. God wants me to TRUST Him completely with everything… herein lies the problem. Trusting God completely in every area of my life means me letting go of the need to control my life, my friends, my family, etc…. There is no fear in trust/God’s love, God is big enough to fix others – that’s not my job. God is big enough to help people live in peace and harmony – that’s not my job. MY JOB is to live each day in obedience to Christ, walk in love (the best I can), and strive to live a life worthy of the calling….. I am not perfect, never will be, but I can do my best to live for God and try to let go…

Letting go and letting God – it’s Heart Healthy give it a whirl.  I am thankful that God does not give up on us, even when we are idiots and don’t know what to do with ourselves… lol… BOUNDRIES/LOVE = keys to freedom.  ;)

During worship team prayer, Drew had mentioned to us that he had all these expectations for the morning, but decided it would be best for him and for all of us to just chuck them out the window and see what happenend. The point being that when we approach events with really high personal expectations we are often let down because God decides to move in a different “unexpected” way. So as a team we went out there with one expectation… to see God move. And He did.

I loved it all from start to finish. We heard story after story of God delivering people from drugs, alcohol, and pain. Robbie’s message on the prodigal son/father was good stuff and really ministered to me after hearing those stories. I literally had tears in my eyes before it was over… God’s mercy stops me in my tracks man.

There is definitly something about getting a big group of hungry people in one room to just cut loose and worship. God has been so faithful to each of us, in ways we don’t even notice sometimes. He is an awesome God. Today truly filled my heart with gratitude for all He has done…

I have recently found myself in a “out of sorts/scatterbrained” state. I really don’t like it… So, a couple nights ago I began reading, “Renewed in His Presence” by Lynne Hammond. So far, I really like it! I have also started listening to, “Getting personal with God” by Joyce Meyer in my car on the way to work.

I know that anytime I start to feel the way I do right now, its because I am not spending enough time in the presence of my Father. I just start to complain about everything and become focused on poor pitiful me, my problems and how there is clearly no way out of it! hahaha.. FALSE – there is a way! Spend time with God and allow Him to work in me and change me.

My thought for the day from Joyce Meyer is: (it might sound simple, but hey I’m simple minded   )

“The more time you spend with God, the more LIKE HIM you become..”

The funny thing is, I was waiting for her to say, Its kind of like getting to know an earthly friend, the more time you spend with them the better you get to know them. BUT she said the more time you spend, the more LIKE them you become…. Why did I never relate the two??? I can spend a week with a crazy, outgoing carefree friend and her zest for life will totally rub off on me – everything from her attitude to her slang convo. Why did I never stop to consider how my time spent with God would change my character into what HE wants it to be. Rather, I try to become like Christ by simply working at the church and putting my hand to things I think/know He will approve of, etc…. Our Salvation is not by works!   Until next time…

In all the craziness, I find myself amazed at God’s mercy and grace. The mercy He shows me that is so undeserved. Sunday was an amazing day at Beachside for me. I was not feeling well, Emily and Drew both had the flu and we had a worship set to do…. Buhm Buhm Buhm….and guess what? God gave us the grace to do it.

 Sunday was also just a random day of stories. I spoke with several people I know that had amazing stories of God’s grace and mercy. Not gonna lie, I was blown away and quickly reminded of a time when I was as far away from God as I could get. The cool thing about God is that He goes with you even when you tell Him you don’t want Him there.  Much like these people I spoke with, I found myself living a life I never thought possible (in a bad way).  All I could think of was the day God finally got a hold of me and made it all so clear, “this was not the life I was born to live”. The very next day I found myself in church, and as uncomfortable as it was I forced myself to stay there. As time passed, that guilt and condemnation fell to the side.  The more I worshipped, the more comfortable it became.

I will never forget how stupid I felt for ever walking away from God. I hope I never forget the deep and amazing love I felt when I came crawling back begging His forgiveness and He granted it freely. God forgives and forgets. He throws our sin into the sea of forgetfulness, never to be reminded of it. As far as the east is from the west, so has He removed our sin. I will always worship Him for that. No one else can do that for me and no one in this lifetime will ever fill me up and wash me clean the way He can.

I find it humerous how we can be so proud of ourselves for the way we forgive each other. I’ll speak for myself…when I am wronged, I struggle with holding a grudge. So when the time finally comes that I am ready to let it go, I am so proud of myself for just releasing it and trusting God to deal with that person. The whole thing is just such a joke… that’s the easy thing to do! God commands us to forgive as we have been forgiven. We have no right to hold a grudge against someone, when our slate has been completely wiped clean… So, the challenge is to forgive instantly as painful as it will be…

Forgiveness……Priceless.

I for sure needed the giggles. So much has been going on lately that has been trying to bring me down and confuse me and hurt me. Times like that make me step back and say, “God, what do you have planned? What is your purpose in all of this and WHEN will it be over.” Then you have that moment when He just shows up and saves the day! He cares about where I’m at and what I’m going through. I love Him for that.

We all have a desire to be heard and understood… okay, maybe just me SO, when things go sour in life and you know deep in your heart that your motives were right and can’t figure out why you just got side-swiped……You need God to move and reveal to people the big picture and who you are and what you mean by the things you say, right? Well, today I learned that if you wait on God long enough He really means it when He says, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for God’s wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is Mine, I will repay (requite), says the Lord. –Romans 12:19

How Great is OUR GOD!?!? He sees our tears and hears our cries. We may think He’s forgotten about us, but He’s never early and never late….. Thank you Lord.